The past, the present, and the future

Throughout this journey, the one thing I learned is that there is no end. Challenging for someone whose profession is about starting and finishing projects.

For a while, the EMDR treatment was life-changing. I went from having screaming voices at volume 11 all day long, to the blissful silence of a light hum. I was walking on water, king of the world, conquered the impossible.

But later, I would realize that each of these treatments turns down the intensity of one thing, only for other things to emerge that were previously drowned out.

Behold the magical 🍄

With the volume turned down, I was on a high, ready to go to the next level. A friend of mine had an opportunity for me to do a mushroom ceremony.

I showed up at the house. I sat down at the counter, and tea was prepared. A little green tea, a little honey, and some of the plant medicine ground up into a powder. He asked if I want to drink it or eat all the chunks.

YOLO, let’s do it.

I’ll come back to this experience in a future letter, but for now, it hit me like a wall. Pretty colors, the feeling sounds, tasting shapes, the whole 9 yards. A few moments in, part of me wanted to get off the ride. In my head, if it’s going to be like this, it will be a long day.